


Fall to Bitter Flames

by coldheartscoldersongs



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Angst, Fifth Year, M/M, Pining, Pre Canon, Pre Relationship, Suicidal Thoughts, self hate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-10
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-11-30 08:33:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11459913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coldheartscoldersongs/pseuds/coldheartscoldersongs
Summary: Baz spends another night in the Catacombs lamenting his situation.





	Fall to Bitter Flames

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this on three hours of sleep, minutes before work, while listening to the Mozart Requiem's Confutatis and Domine Jesu, so that's how my morning's going. Enjoy.

I’ve hit rock bottom.

It’s the middle of the night, I’m down in the Catacombs near my mother’s grave draining rats to keep myself from losing it. I have class in a handful of hours and I’m in love with Simon fucking Snow.

My roommate, my enemy, the Mage’s Heir. He’s everything I’m supposed to hate, and yet here I am. Drowning my misery in feeding.

If my mother was still alive, I know she couldn’t bear to look at me; she’d hate me. She’d hate me for Turning, she’d hate me for being gay, and she’d hate me for loving Snow. Some son I turned out to be.

It would only take four words. Four little, insignificant words and this would all be over. No more Watford, no more feeding, no more Snow. I’m already dead on the inside, why not make it a done deal?

Because I’m weak. Too weak to end even my own suffering. And that will never change.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments/constructive criticism are appreciated!


End file.
